Sumwish Gets a Craving.

There once was a young hermit, who never left his room.

Upon his desk lay many things. His computer desktop sat beside a TV. Just right of his computer mouse lay a dozen nude magazines along with an old sock. The crushed empty soda cans were piled in such a way, they nearly resembled the Hive which he so fondly defended. Under the desk was a miniature refrigerator filled with all the essentials.

This would seem to be a normal young hermit's room but in fact it was not so! For to the left was none other than a catheter hanging from a steel metal stand. The wires went around the room and out the door. It seems as though this hermit would never ever leave his room again.

But then the unthinkable happened! The refrigerator was in fact lacking in essentials. It was out of chocolate. He searched in a wild fever tearing apart everything in reach of his chair.

The hermit wanted nothing more than just a small piece of chocolaty goodness.

And so the hermit ventured outside. He did not know what it was like outside. It had been years since his last emergence. He stumbled out the door and in a panic scrambled to his feet and ran to his room.

He finally worked up enough courage to venture out again. His craving consumed him, and so he continued onward. And just when he thought all was lost, he saw the heavenly florescent glow just up ahead.

When he finally arrived at the old run down 7-11, he searched everywhere but couldn't find the brownies he was searching for. Then when he had given up all hope... he saw them illuminated behind the counter. Naturally the cashier was quite taken aback by the awkward pale young hermit. The hermit grabbed the brownies and rushed home, tripping several times in his excitement.

Then, in the confinement of his room. He began to gingerly nibble at the most succulent brownie he had ever had.

Sumwish Has a Sleepover.

As you may remember, our young hermit doesn't really get out much, and when he does... it's a disaster. That's why every year he has a sleepover for him and his pals. And the big event was drawing near.

After he had expoed in the Wasteland, he emailed his mom what he would need. The list included some of your average sleepover things, like food, soda and new feather pillows (for the massive and intensive pillow fights of course!).

He spent all day tidying up the area in view of his computer monitor. Needless to say, it was very exhausting for our young hermit. He cozily slept in his chair after he had again expoed out of the Wasteland. After his alarm went off telling him that his exposure was now at zero, he saw that his mom had snuck in all his sleepover supplies.

The nude magazines were soon replaced by Dr. Pepper and the conspicuous looking sock was replaced by a party size bag of Doritos.

While he opened the plastic sealing of the pillows the anticipation shook throughout him. This was going to be one of the best nights of his life!

And then with a 'brrrriinggg' from his computer, the guests arrived. He gave them a quick tour of his room and when he passed by the pillows... he quickly snatched one up and all hell broke loose!

He smashed the pillow against anything he could. Feathers flew everywhere. After a few minutes the pillows and our hermit were depleted of everything.

After a short rest, they took turns doing their own facials, while chowing down on their munchies. Again, our hermit's 'expo is at 0' alarm went off and he quickly jumped into the Wasteland with webcam sleepover buddies tucked away in the corner of his monitor.

Sumwish Gets a Date.

For a while, our young hermit had been chatting up a very nice young lady. For you see, because of his shrew-like existence, he abandoned all hope of finding a mate long ago. Thus he was absolutely flabbergasted when she said that she would be his Valentine.

Hours before the date, We find clothes thrown about the room. Our young hermit is fretting over what to wear. He frantically dusts off the dress shirt and vest he has chosen to wear. After hanging up the clothing, our hermit calls his mother (who, just in case you don't know, is just in the other room) and asks for a more sophisticated setup for dinner.

For you see, our young hermit is dining in with his lady friend. He arranges the candles upon his desk and folds the napkins just like the Wiki showed. He then put on his shirt and vest. Feeling rather sharp in his new attire, he decided to throw on a little mood setting music. Finally, a girl who understood him had come into his life. The hour approached and he rushed to see if she was there.

He was a little embarrassed because it seemed as though he had over dressed but she assured him that it was nothing to worry about. But as the night progressed, our hermit wasn't feeling so sure of himself.

The entire atmosphere he had created was lost on her. She could not hear the music and didn't eat any food. He quickly began to grow rather self conscious. Our hermit thought he might loosen up the mood, by removing his vest. Much to his surprise, his lady friend removed her top! The hour at which she was to depart was approaching fast. He didn't know what to do with the five minutes of her presence he had left!

He made up his mind and asked "When will I see you again?" "When you feel like paying $8.95 a minute." And just then his lady friend and her webcam vanished.

Where is that Noob Sumwish?

About DesertLady.

I first started writing these short stories when I became inspired by one of Sumwish's threads in the Clan Forum. I wrote 'Sumwish Gets a Craving' for fun, then I entered it in a Blade of Dawn short story contest.

After talking with Sumwish on several occasions, I deemed him interesting enough to continue with his epic saga. This lead to the second and third tales.

For more information about DesertLady, feel free to visit my player profile page.