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Haunted Mansion: (Title unknown)

Chapter 1:Closed For Refurbishment written by: Deeg


The bus pulled up at around 5pm. It wasn't the best time of the year for a "summer trip", what with it being late October, but no one really complained. The sun was setting on the horizon, but visibility wasn't an issue. There were several lights surrounding their destination, and spotlights all around the vast grounds. The mansion that the Legacy team was having a break at wasn't renowned for its hospitality or its comfort, but the main idea was team bonding and getting to know each other.

The first to get off the bus, behind the driver, was G4lyfe. He wasn't the tour leader but was eager to stretch his legs, having been cramped in a seat for the past 16 hours. Everyone was in a similar situation, but some further back were too stiff to move and others sound asleep.

"Hey guys, come check this out!" G4lyfe shouted. Falcon, Jake and thepig were the first to hear and get off the bus to investigate the call.

The entrance gate to the mansion was tied shut, with a wooden board covering most of it. "CLOSED FOR REFURBISHMENT" the sign read. It looked pretty old, and the paint was wearing off, and underneath was a faded picture of what some deluded artist had imagined what the property would look like after its improvements. A flowing stream down the middle was surrounded by gardens lined with colourful flowers, and the mansion itself bright and full of life and activity. This was far from the situation. The "stream" was merely a large trench in the ground, with the occasional puddle along the bottom; the gardens were not so desireable, merely patches of grass and the occasional bag of compost lying about; and the mansion itself was old. It looked fit to live in, no windows were boarded up, and while not gleaming and clearly transparent, only one of them was smashed.

"What the hell have we come to?" asked Jake, thinking that this was some sort of absurd hoax.

"How should I know?" shouted G4lyfe back.

"Well, when they said they don't usually take bookings anymore, I didn't think they meant it was completely closed," came a voice from behind. The two at the gates turned around as if intrigued by the statement.

"What are you on about Vader?" replied Jake.

"The guy I spoke to on the phone said they don't really get any guests anymore. Apparently team bonding isn't the 'in thing', but I assumed it was still y'know... open for business, so to speak. Unless, of course, this is part of the whole package-- working as a team to get into the damn place!"

"Right, well if thats the case, this place is lame. I hate tests!" Jake said in a rather arrogant tone, "But screw it. Let's climb over this damn thing."

Everyone proceeded to give everyone else a lift over, and a couple on the other side managed to pry the gate open from the inside to let the remaining few in. The whole group got to work carrying all the bags to the front doorstep, piling them up in no specific order.

"God knows why we couldn't have just driven the bus up to the front doorstep," moaned Jake, still complaining about having to come in the first place.

"You think my bus can fit up that pathway?" replied Adam from quite a way away.

Jake was silent for a second and turned to look at G4lyfe again, whispering to him, "How the hell did he hear that?"

Before G4lyfe could reply all speech was cut off by Vader, who stood on top of the stairs and demanded everyones attention.

"Right, I can't get any signal on my PDA, so trying to see if anyone is going to answer this door is out of the question. Anyone got any ideas before we kick this door down?"

"I KNOW!" cried Jakes voice, and almost instantly everyone ducked for cover as a window smashed, "There you go... there's a window open!" he smirked, kind of proud at the fact that he'd just wiped out a whole sheet of glass with a single stone.

Everyone was silent for a second, and then came a piercing cry of a security alarm, almost deafening maddoctor, who stood directly underneath it. The vicinity cleared as people got as far back from the entranceway as they could without falling into the large tunnel in the ground, which the poster on the gate made out to be a clear, flowing stream.

After about 10 minutes, the alarm changed pitch and finally stopped working.

"Thats 10 points right there," Vader told Jake sarcastically.

"You'll thank me in the long run," came the reply.

Night was falling fast, and it became a race against time to get into the building. The window Jake had smashed turned out to lead only into a small room just inside, with a door equally as strong and heavy as the main, and seemingly only, entrance.

"Round here guys!" came a shout from someone.

Everyone who was making an attempt to get inside, and not just sitting about waiting for the job to be done, ran to the side of the building. There was Nitrous, stood with a beaming look on his face.

"Looks like a door from the kitchen or something, can't believe we've not seen this already... pretty well hidden by all this overgrowth though!"

He yanked the handle and the door shot inwards, taking Nitrous with it and throwing him straight into the path of a guillotine. The next sequence of events was a blur to the two stood directly behind him, Falcon and Vader. The force of him hitting the table caused the large meat trimmer to kick into action, swiping its large blade down at high speed. The next thing they saw was Nitrous's body face-down on the floor, spasming wildly, and the back half of his head jammed in the machine.

Falcon passed out straight away, and Vader, whose face was hidden behind his hands still, followed suit.

Chapter 2:Team Building FTW written by: Falcon


“Well, talk about team building,” said Ross, “One guy dead and two fainted, this is just great.”

“He had what was coming to him,” replied Adam.

“What the hell do you mean? He was supposed to knock first?” sarcastically, Ross replied.

“All right then, everybody back to the bus,” shouted Vader, “We don’t want another death.”

Jake was the first back to the front gates, running so fast no one could keep up.

“WAIT!” screamed Aldo, “You don’t know what else could kill you!”

“Who gives a crap?” replied Jake, “Let’s just get out of here!”

Jake jumped onto the gate and started climbing up frantically, with ThePig just behind him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” answered Adam with a smirk on his face.

Just as Jake made it to the top, he turned around and replied with a grin on his face, “Do you really think I care what you think?”

Just as he said that, one of the members at the back of the group reached into his backpack and pulled out a mysterious remote. With a sly grin on his face, he pushed button #2. Suddenly the gates made a zapping sound, and Jake was thrown from the gates onto the ground. ThePig, who was just reaching the top as well, let out a huge squeal, jumped off, and smashed into the ground. Deeg sprinted towards Jake and, when he got there, let out a huge “OH F*CK”. The rest of the group ran towards him and, when they got there, they saw Jake with that same stupid grin on his face, just frozen with a look of disbelief in his eyes.

“Doesn’t anyone care about me?” moaned ThePig.

Goaty strolled over to him and used his medical expertise to diagnose ThePig's broken leg. Goaty picked him up, slung him over his shoulder, and made his way back to the rest of the group.

“Looks like we’re trapped in here,” said jakerz.

“Oh really, n00b? When did you figure that out?” replied Ross with just a hint of sarcasm.

And with that, the group was narrowed down to just 32 and 1 injured, not to mention Falcon still unconscious. With no hope of escape, what would happen next to this bunch of nerds?

Chapter 3:Curse of the Lost Warrior written by: Maddoctor


As they headed back towards the house, a dark figure moved slowly towards them, the mist covering everyone’s eyes. He got closer and closer.

Then suddenly Vader screamed, "Stop! Who are you and what do you want?"

The dark figure replied, "I want what’s best, I want what’s right."

Suddenly, the dark figure screamed with a hint of terror. Tears flew down his face like a river. Vader edged forward and saw him on the floor screaming in agony. He looked and saw maddoctor.

"What did you do?” Vader asked.

Maddoctor replied, "I... I didn't do anything."

Vader threw evil glares at maddoctor and looked down.

"Oh it’s only you, jkjace. Get up and stop being a little girl."

They carried on moving towards the mansion, and then Vader shouted out to everyone, "We need shelter its getting dark."

Everyone started to get into groups, and then they all went to sleep one by one. The night was cold and wet. Bats flew around and owls hooted in their abnormal way. Suddenly, a scream shook the house like a mental rage. Everyone ran towards the scream. Then someone stopped.

"What’s that on the floor?" said Die.

Ross said, "Yeah, step in the way. Move. Move now..." Then Ross stepped into the thick liquid. He looked down, "It's blood..."

Vader stepped forward, and saw the blood. He kicked the door clean off its hinges and looked.

There was a body pinned up against the wall by long sickles. A river of blood poured down the wall and formed a giant pool at the bottom. They turned and looked at the lake of blood, and there was a note. Deeg picked it up and read aloud:

"Here lies my Third Victim... Behold maddoctor. Sleeping softly until I got to him. He’s dead. Who will be next?”

Suddenly Deeg said, “Everyone to the main hall. We will stay there. No one stand alone. Something is here and it's not welcoming."

Vader hauled the body off the wall and maddoctor was laid to rest in kitchen, where the body of Jake had been brought, and where Nitrous was still in the position he had died in.

A lot of people were still sleeping, and those who had been awakened were just dropping off again. Then another sound became louder; it kept escalating in volume until it was a piercing cry, and everyone stirred in their sleep. Vader and Deeg, bolting upright, were first to move and ran into the entrance hall...

Chapter 4:Burnt Note written by: anialator


Tattyrags was pinned into the wall by a long pipe, which had pierced a main electrical line that passed through the house. Vader and Deeg looked in shock as tattyrags continued to be electrocuted. Then a shot was heard that smashed through the window into tattyrags head.

There was a small, slightly burnt note on the bullet. Vader picked it off and Deeg looked over his shoulder to see what was on the note; lots of it had been burnt off by the gun chamber firing.

"It was unexpected------stabbing tattyrags----powerline-----you won't have found his body-----but who is next, you better look in------------"

Deeg and Vader looked to one another, and just before they had left the room, a crowd of people had arrived. They looked from Deeg, to Vader, to Deeg again, before someone in the crowd shouted "Oh my god... Deeg and Vader did it..."

Vader quickly started stammering and mumbling at the same time, no one understanding him, while Deeg backed away slowly. Then there was a click. A gun barrel had been loaded. Vader silenced and Deeg froze. Another click. Another gun had been reloaded. This one the crowd heard, and the crowd backed away from G4Lyfe and anialator, who both held M16s.

Deeg just gaped at them, and Vader, with some fear in his voice, stammered "W-w-where did you get...those..."

G4Lyfe responded, "It doesnt matter. What matters is that you murdered tattyrags, along with Nitrous and Jake."

Anialator said to Deeg, "And your radio shows take way tpo long to make."

Deeg just looked at anialator and said in an annoyed voice, "How can you talk about radio shows at a time like this!?"

Vader interrupted anialator before he even started talking, "How do we know you're not the murderer with those M16s?"

Some of the members of the crowd stood up, although they seemed a little worried to be standing up to Vader, "They were with us the whole time. They had... never left the crowd..."

Deeg and Vader looked at anialator and G4Lyfe, knowing that all the rest defending them meant that they could not be the murderers, unless everyone there was involved.

Suddenly there was one loud, shrill scream from downstairs, then silence. Deeg's face had turned white.

"Who was left behind?" he asked slowly.

Chapter 5:The Vast Sewers written by: grossman


Deeg ran downstairs and there, standing in the doorway, was Adam with one arm torn off. Vader came down and let out a scream. Deeg and Vader ran out the back door, and behind them they could hear, "This isn’t over yet!"

"Deeg, was that Adam!?" Deeg exclaimed.

"I really don’t want to know," Deeg responded, "Come on, Vader, let's go to that grave house over there."

As they opened the grave-house door, they were greeted by BaQster.

"So what seems to be the problem young men?" he asked.

"We want to get out of this place. A lot of our friends have already been murdered!"

"Ok then, follow me. I know the secret way out!"

"Vader, we shouldn’t go with him!" worried Deeg.

"Deeg, what else can we do? We have already lost our friends, and I think we left some behind when we saw Adam!"

"Okay, Vader, I guess you're right!"

"Ok, boys, follow me." BaQster announced.

Vader and Deeg were led into a sewer.

"Uh, Mr. BaQster, where are we going?"

"You boys are so impatient. Shut up!" he snapped.

Vader and Deeg quickly became quiet and did not want to say another word.

As they were walking, Deeg saw a mysterious bandit come from the corner. BaQster quickly used his teeth to bite through the man's flesh! By now Deeg and Vader were very terrified of the sewers and this mysterious BaQster man!

Then BaQster turned around, "Ok, my boys, now that no one will see us or hear us, I will kill you now. I am tired of waiting!"

Vader and Deeg had no weapons to save themselves with. Then, from, around the corner a shotgun was fired, and BaQster fell to the ground, blood dripping from his face.

A man came around the corner and said, "You are lucky that I came here to save you guys. Oh, and just to let you know, that gravekeeper was a bloodthirsty cannibal!"

“Ok,” said Vader, "Who are you and why did you save us?"

"I am Grossman, and I came to save you because I am trying to protect you and your friends from coming to this hell-spawned place!"

Vader and Deeg just stood there without saying a word.

"Well, if I came here to save you, I don’t want you just standing around to be killed! Come on, there are probably some other bandits in these sewers so watch yourself!"

Chapter 6:Which Person? written by: anialator


As the crowd slowly walked down the stairs, anialator held his gun steady. G4Lyfe's eyes were darting round rapidly, ready for any kind of ambush.

As they finally got to the hall, they looked through a door frame to see Adam lying dead on the floor with 1 arm.

"Crap!" Anialator shouted out, everyone jumping a little.

Everyone looked around, seeing who was there, and then they realised... Deeg and Vader had gone.

"Damn Damn Damn! it really was them!" and everyone was nodding in agreement. They stood there for another minute, before G4Lyfe started making commands.

"Everyone, get weapons, and stay together. Any isolated person is in danger."

Everyone did as they were told, and took anything that could be used to defend themselves.

Anialator turned to G4Lyfe and said calmly, "Give me my M16 back."

Giving Anialator a quizzical look, he simply said, "...No!"

After a loud argument, with both threatening the other with the M16s, G4Lyfe finally gave in and handed the M16 over.

As everyone gathered in the front room, anialator said calmly, "OK, well, I'm gonna go look for those murderers." Everyone simply gasped before anialator ran outside.

He was looking around the floor: footprints, blood, etc. He was not that good at tracking, but he could always have a go at it.

Finally finding 3 sets of footprints, all together, he started following them and didn't hesitate except to hold his breath when he climbed down into the sewer.

All that was left to follow was the mud from their shoes, which very quickly ran out. Anialator was stuck searching aimlessly through the sewers.

Deeg and Vader followed grossman, who was holding his revolver and being very careful.

Finally, a faint voice could be heard, "Deeg....Va..der..."

Grossman tensed up, aiming his shotgun where he thought the noise had come from, but it was pretty hard, as the sound echoed around the sewer.

Anialator was sure he had heard something, and he quickly sprinted towards the faint noises.

Then, something jumped infront of him; and, making no hesitation, anialator open fired onto the person, who fell back.

Anialator walked up to see two others standing open-mouthed. Anialator had walked into Deeg, Vader, and grossman, but which person had he shot?

He leaned in closer and looked at the face of the wheezing, dying piece of meat in front of him. It was...

Chapter 7:Title Unknown written by: Badsniper


Screaming started to erupt from a nearby door across the hall. Anialator and Deeg stepped out of the parlor, while grossman started to move back into the corner, gasping:

"THEY told me it would happen! They knew it!" Grossman was now rushing to the front door of the mansion.

"NO MORE!" he screamed as he opened the door and ran out. Deeg and Anialator tried to hold him back but grossman kept going. As grossman disappeared into the mist, they heard groaning and screaming, and they knew grossman was no more. The screaming continued as Deeg locked and shut the front door. Anialator rushed into the room, and Ross lay on the ground hurt while a tape recording of a scream played over and over. Anialator shut it off and helped Ross up.

"We... they... not dead. Everyone is alive, in basement. The key is what we need." Ross spoke rapidly now, "We... need the key! It gets us in the basement, and thats where they took everyone! And the killers aren't our only... problem," Ross spoke low now, "There are things, like spirits, and they are going to devour us! There's something someone said about a book, though," Ross finished.

"So. First things first; to the attic!" Anialator stated, and then, there was a banging on the door, a loud THUMP. And they checked the window to see who it was.

Citizen and grossman were banging on the door, as their ghastly dead faces were open and grotesque.

Only one word popped into their minds: Zombies!

Chapter 8:Impossible written by: anialator


As Anialator stood completely still, Deeg screamed, "ANIALATOR! SHOOT THEM!" But he had frozen up completely -- frozen in terror.

"Th-Thats impossible!" he shouted, backing away from the window.

Grossman and Citizen smashed against the window, shattering it into a million tiny pieces.

Anialator shouted out "YAAAAAAAAARGH!!!" as he open fired into the zombies, while Deeg kept back, now silent, watching them explode.

Once they had been silenced for ever, Anialator stood still for a moment, catching his breath, and then he turned to Deeg.

"The Chronicle of Blood has been found, Deeg, and you work with Zorg, so I believe you know what it is..."

Deeg simply looked at him, and quietly replied, "I don't know how you know, but yes, I know what it is."

"We have got to find it," Anialator began, walking towards Ross, "We must find it, and destroy it!"

Deeg gasped in shock, "You cant destroy the Chronicle of Blood, that is an important document of..." But Anialator ignored him, and started talking to Ross.

"Come on Ross; wake up, man," anialator began, tapping him on the shoulder lightly, "Too many people have died today, Ross. Not you, too!"

Ross let out a groan, and, with the help of anialator and Deeg, helped himself up.

Ross coughed up a little blood, and then cleared his throat.

"So, Ross, do you have any weapons on you?"

"No, Ani, I... I'm unarmed. This was supposed to be a weapon-free, RELAXING HOLIDAY AND WE GET THIS CRAP!!!"

Anialator looked at him for a moment, and then passed him a grenade launcher. "Oh, and you may want one of these too." Anialator passed him a pack of antibiotics, and Ross swallowed them all in one gulp.

Finaly, he said to him, "Okay then, I'm sure you heard what we have got to do, right Ross?"

"Yeah, destroy that book."

They all moved through the house, walked up to the door of the basement, stood outside, and waited anxiously. They were all waiting for one of the others to open the door.

Eventually, Deeg kicked the door down, and said, "Anialator... you know I need a weapon too, right?"

"Oh yes Deeg, and I don't disappoint." He took out the long black blade that Vader had held. "I don't understand how to work this blade, but Zorg can, and Vader can, and I assume he showed--"

But Deeg took the blade before Anialator had even finished talking, and the blade immediately burst into flame. Deeg held a cool pose and said to them, "Lets go kick zombie ass!"

And as they walked in, Ross simply said to Deeg, "Wanna trade?"